


Countdown

by Pidgey_pie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Engaged Klance, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self Sacrifice, aged up paladins, but also a fair amount of fluff, but i promise nobody actually dies, canonverse, its been like seven years, klangst, married shallura with a kid, promises promises, seriously so much angst, team voltron is a space fam, this has a happy ending believe it or not, voltron squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 03:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15698934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pidgey_pie/pseuds/Pidgey_pie
Summary: "He doesn’t know if his body will be enough to contain the explosion. He’s halfway to the bomb by now. If there’s even a chance he can save his friends- his family- he has to take it. He can’t hesitate now."10 seconds is a minuscule amount of time. But faced with a choice that will end in tragedy either way, Keith discovers exactly how much can change in a few short moments.





	Countdown

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, this is my first fic ever! And of course it ends up being a super angsty one shot lol.
> 
> Shoutout to @natashawrites for being a super awesome beta and forcing me post this before i chicken out.
> 
> If you have any suggestions or constructive criticism, pls let me know in the comments, i'd love to hear any advice.  
> That's all, i guess. Happy reading!

The timer on the bomb reads exactly ten seconds. Ten seconds until it detonates. Until it rips the Galra base Team Voltron is currently on to pieces. Until Keith’s entire world literally blows up in his face. 

This was supposed to be the last battle. The very last dregs of the Galra who hadn’t been willing to make their peace with the rest of the universe. It hadn’t been a fair fight- four druids and about a hundred sentries against the six of them. But since when did the Galra ever play fair? It wasn’t in their nature. Conquer, destroy, ravage. By any means possible.

Keith has seen the havoc they wreak far too many times over the course of this 7 year long intergalactic war. He’s felt the despair of the countless alien races enslaved and massacred. Hell, even the people of Earth have had firsthand experience of the cruelty of the Galra Empire. 

But he’s never felt so thoroughly hopeless. Never felt so desperately useless as he did when that druid had disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving no trace behind- nothing but a bomb with ten seconds on it. A countdown that ends in the obliteration of everyone that Keith loves.

His makeshift space family is in bad shape. Horrible shape, really. His heart aches at the sight of his brother’s altean prosthetic torn away, lying on the ground three feet away from his body. He’s infinitesimally relieved when he sees Allura doing her best to staunch the wound, but he notices what appears to be a badly broken leg grounding her. At least she and Shiro have each other. They’ve both been through hell and back- separately, and then together. A broken bone and a missing arm and ten seconds seem like a shitty way to go after all Keith has watched then endure.  

Keith tries not to think how soon the married couple could be torn away. He tries not to think about his two year old niece waiting back on the Castle of Lions with Coran. Waiting hopefully for parents that may not return.  

Hunk doesn’t look much better. His helmet is fractured down the middle from an errant enemy blade, and his normal sunny disposition has been replaced by a look of bone deep exhaustion. A look Keith is sure is mirrored on all of their faces. Down the yellow paladin’s upper chest, a sickly gash cuts through his bodysuit, the skin around it paling and leaking red. That’s going to scar. 

If any of them even make it out of here.   

When Keith’s eyes land on the small body strewn close to Hunk, angry tears threaten to start spilling out. Pidge’s armor is smoking, charred dark marks erratically blemishing the white and green paint. Right before Keith had managed to take down the last druid, it had released a bolt of electricity straight into the youngest paladin’s chest. Every other member of the team had cried out and tried to rush towards her as she seemingly stopped breathing, but were pushed back by endless onslaught of drones and sentries. The collective relief felt when her chest began to rise and fall again was immense, but they still had no idea how bad the internal damage was, and Pidge had yet to rise from the ground. The sight of his adoptive little sister so far from her usual sarcastic wit makes him want to scream.

He drags his gaze away from her, and it lands on a body leaning against the far wall of the ship. The breath leaves his lungs as he takes in his fiance’s condition. Lance is unconscious, his head drooped against his shoulder, barely remaining upright. Keith had seen him thrown against the wall during the battle by some unholy magic, slamming into it hard enough to rip a scream from the red paladin’s throat. Keith wants nothing more then to run to him, cradle him in his arms, kiss him until the violent rage and desperate worry subside like they do after every battle, every time they fight for their lives. He wants to curl up next to the love of his life and slip into a dreamless sleep, let the chaotic energy running through his blood dull to a steady beat, synced to the beating of their hearts. He wants to intertwine their hands and never let go. He wants, wants, wants. He wants so many things.

But like most of his life so far, what he wants is not what he gets.

Because in the seemingly infinite amount of time he has spent remembering the battle, a second has passed in reality. 

Keith knows this because the bomb now reads  _ 00:09 _ .  

He also realizes, in that second, that he has a choice. 

His feet are moving before he knows what’s happening, and then he’s running. Faster than he ever has before, like some god has sensed his absolute urgency and taken pity on his helpless situation. Taken pity on his desperate soul. 

It has to be him. Everyone else is injured. Everyone else is resigned to their fates. He can see it in the silent tears weaving their way down Allura’s face like quicksilver in the dim purple light. He can see it in the way his older brother, the man who raised him,  _ saved him _ , kisses Allura’s brow in a final goodbye. He can see it in Hunk’s weary arms as he pulls the green and blue paladins closer to him, a comforting touch even now. He sees it in the way Pidge’s shoulders shake, panicked sobs wracking her tiny frame. 

Keith is suddenly infinitely glad that Lance isn’t awake to watch what’s about to happen.

 

_ 00:08 _

 

He doesn’t know if his body will be enough to contain the explosion. He’s halfway to the bomb by now. If there’s even a chance he can save his friends- his family- he has to take it. He can’t hesitate now. 

The room ahead of him blurs around the edges as his vision tunnels. He hears shouts start to ring out around him. The others have finally caught onto what he’s trying to do, where he’s headed. He can tell they’re struggling to rise to their feet, but it’s too late. Keith has made up his mind. He’s chosen his fate. He hopes they won’t hate him for it after. He hopes they know that he’s sorry.

 

_ 00:07 _

 

A deluge of memories start filling his head, his eyes, his heart. All the best and the worst and the worth remembering. Keith wonders if this is what it means to have your life flash before your eyes. 

 

_ 00:06 _

 

_ He gazes at night sky so far above him. He’s always loved summer nights in the desert, loved seeing the constellations and planets spattered across the atmosphere like one of the finger paintings he made earlier that day. The solid, warm presence of his father next to him is comforting in the chill of the open air around. It had been his sixth birthday today. His dad had taken him to his favorite spot in the whole desert- or at least that’s what he told him. When Keith had asked why he liked it so much, he had only smiled a little sadly and said “This is where I met your mother.”  _

_ He wishes he knew more about his mom. All he’d ever been told was that she’d left when he was little, but his dad had strangely never seemed resentful, or angry at her. _

_ Keith shivers against his father’s side, who notices and tugs the young boy closer with an arm wrapped around the shoulders. This has to be his favorite thing in the whole world. His dad has started pointing to stars in the sky, drawing imaginary lines to form patterns and images Keith has already memorized. The slight breeze carries the sweet scent of cactus blooms and distant smell of rain into this dry landscape. The sandy earth shifts between his toes as he pushes them into the soft ground in repetitive motions. _

_ “What did you wish for earlier, when you blew out your candles, son?”     _

_ “Can’t tell you. Because then it won’t come true.” _

_ His father only chuckles at that. But Keith knows the real reason he can’t tell. He wished for a lot of things. Mostly to know why his father sometimes looked up at space like he was waiting for something. Or maybe missing someone. Is there really a difference? And also for these desert nights to never stop. For the contentment and peace of the recognizable star paths and his father’s warmth by his side to never, ever change.  _

_ But even at six years old, Keith knows a lot about change. He knows that sometimes people leave and you stay behind, and that the shapes of the canyons wear away when the sand and wind smooth their edges. He also knows that no matter how hard you try, change always wins. You can’t stop it from happening. You can only let it pull you along, because going with it is better than making it drag you kicking and screaming.  _

_ Right then, though, Keith is happy where he is. And he hopes that whenever change decides to rear its head, he’ll still be able to hold onto the galaxies above and his dad’s sturdy arm draped around his shoulders.  _

 

It feels like he’s moving in slow motion, but everything around him is blurred by the wild staccato of his heartbeat.

 

_ 00:05 _

 

_ “I can’t believe you’re actually going on the mission.” Keith feels the same old panic rise up inside of him at the sound of Shiro’s sigh.  _

_ “Keith, we talked about this. I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut. You  _ know  _ that. Kerberos may be my chance to make a real scientific breakthrough.” Despite the truth to his older brother’s words, he can’t manage to keep the petulant scowl off of his face. As a fifteen year old, he knows pouting is beneath him, but he just can’t help it. Shiro is leaving him. For a months long space expedition to a tiny, obscure moon of Pluto. It isn’t fair.  _

_ “Look, buddy, I know we’re gonna miss each other tons, but it’s not like it’s forever--” _

_ “-- You don’t get it! That’s what my dad said before he ran into that burning house, and what my foster family said when they told me why they wouldn’t adopt me!” _

_ Keith realizes he’s shouting, and takes a deep breath to try and quell the old fears that keep threatening to overtake him. As he turns away from the older man, he catches a glimpse of something in Shiro’s eyes- pity. And he can’t stand it. Because that’s what he is to Shiro, isn’t he? A pitiful orphan who’s so used to being abandoned that he lets his selfishness get in the way of other people’s lifelong dreams.  _

_ “Hey, I know that look.” Shiro’s soft but reprimanding tone commands Keith’s attention, and he reluctantly turns back to face him. “Your concern is completely understandable. But I’ll still be with you after I leave- just in here.” He pokes Keith’s chest with his finger.  _

_ “That was cheesy as hell,” he huffs, but accepts the hug his brother offers anyways. And as Shiro begins walking away, he calls back one last thing- something that is surely meant to be reassuring, but instead fills Keith with an odd sense of dread. _

_ “I’ll be back. I promise.”   _

 

The bomb is drawing closer, always closer, but not close enough. It is with an odd sense of clarity that he realizes Shiro never broke his promise.

 

_ 00:04 _

 

_ The strangely smooth bark of the Arusian tree offers few handholds, so Keith isn’t surprised when he slips for the umpteenth time. His heart still races at the 20 foot drop looming below, even when he scrabbles for purchase on the tree and eventually catches hold of a branch. Why did he get himself into this situation? He hears a cackle from a few feet above, and looks up to see Pidge sticking her tongue out at him as she easily continued scampering up the tree. Right. That was why. The smaller paladin had dared him to race her up the tree about five minutes ago, and he had foolishly accepted. Well, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do.  _

_ Shiro, Allura, and Lance were busy organizing war volunteers at the main village, as Arus had become a major Coalition meeting planet in the last three years in the war against Zarkon- well, really Haggar and what remained of the Galra forces now.  As diplomacy was not a strong suit of Keith, Pidge, or Hunk, they had been sent off to buy supplies instead. However, they’d gotten a little, er, sidetracked. _

_ “How you guys doin’ up there?” Hunk’s voice calls out amusedly. Keith thinks he could detect a slight edge of anxiety, too, in the yellow paladin’s voice. Instead of annoying him, though, he finds it kinda endearing. Hunk cares deeply about his friends, especially in regards to their safety. And as both Keith and Pidge have the tendency to accidently land themselves in trouble, Keith supposes he had the right to be nervous. This fact is only cemented further when his foot slips  _ again _ and he falls to the ground with a groan. He hits an unsuspecting Hunk on the way down, and sends them both sprawling. His fall must have shaken the tree, too, because a second later there’s a yelp and then Pidge’s small body comes flailing down and slams poor Hunk into the ground a second time.  _

_ Keith feels pretty bad for him, and he can feel his own body aching, but he can’t help the laughter that bursts past his lips at the comical sight of the other’s situation.  _

_ “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, why don’t you,” Hunk grumbles, but he and Pidge soon dissolve into giggles as well. Keith can’t help but to marvel at the difference between this and the first time they had visited Arus. 18 year old Keith had been closed off and completely unaware of just how close he would eventually become with these two. 21 year old Keith knows much better. He doesn’t get to laugh very often during this war, and Hunk and Pidge are almost always the ones to draw it out of him. He wishes he had tried a little harder to get know them sooner. He wishes he had taken the time to laugh more when he was younger. He wishes he had tried to be happy. _

 

As he tears past where Hunk is sitting, the yellow paladin reaches out as though to grab Keith’s leg, and he can’t look him in the eye. He can’t bring himself to listen to Pidge’s distant pleas for him to  _ stop, please, stop.  _ He is a coward.

 

_ 00:03 _

 

_ With his boyfriend draped over his side, and his niece nuzzled against his chest, both sound asleep, Keith can’t remember the last time he felt this peaceful. Content. Relaxed. He’s not sure what word he’s looking for, but it doesn’t seem to matter much. The three of them are sprawled along the lounge couch in the Castle of Lions. He and Lance were supposed to be babysitting for Shiro and Allura, as both of them are dead on their feet after planning new battle strategies, arranging diplomatic meetings, and restoring balance after the power vacuum left by Lotor’s death and Haggar’s disappearance- not to mention caring for their five month year old daughter.  _

_ However, Lance had conked out practically as soon as they had sat down on the couch. Keith can’t blame him. They are all exhausted. This war had been dragging on for five and a half years by now, and was only just showing signs of slowing. Keith doesn’t mind watching the baby by himself, anyways. Alondra, with her white hair, and dusky brown skin, and big gray eyes, is definitely the cutest baby he has ever seen. He’s probably biased, being her Uncle and all, but he stands by his point. _

_ As she snuffles in her sleep and clutches her blanket a little tighter, Keith hears the door to the lounge hiss open. He looks up slowly, so as not to disturb either of the people currently using him as a makeshift pillow. As Allura enters the room, he sees her smile tiredly at the scene in front of her. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Keith asks quizzically. He  _ knows  _ how drained Shiro is, he had to half carry him to his and Allura’s room so he could finally get some rest. He assumes the woman before him is just as tired, if not more so. She just sighs, though, and plops down on the couch cushion next to him.  _

_ He looks over at her after a few seconds, and realizes she’s completely passed out. “Not tired, my ass,” he mumbles, snorting quietly at the sight the four of them were currently presenting to any outsider, all huddled close and dead to the world. Soon, his own eyes start drooping, and then he’s out like a light.  _

_ What he won’t realize until later is that Shiro found them while searching for Alondra, and thought the scene so endearing that he took a picture. And he’ll never admit it, especially not to his brother- but in all his 23 years, there’s never been a photo he’s treasured quite as much as that one.  _

 

The glow of the timer is a brand burned into his retinas. It eclipses his his vision, and he can no longer tell what is deadly reality and what is abstract memory.

 

_ 00:02 _

 

_ The repetitive push and pull of the tides eddying around his ankles is strangely reminiscent of the shifting sands of a desert landscape that Keith used to call home. The sky is different, though. Instead of cerulean shot through with burnt orange, it is a lovely mirage made by some god’s hand, splattering pink and red and indigo. Like the lifeblood of a dying star trickling down from the heavens.  _

_ Ever since the first time he’d come to Cuba, it had captivated his heart. Well, that probably had more to do with the blue eyed boy who’d introduced him to this island. And speak of the devil, he sees movement in the corner of his eye as someone lowers themself to settle on the dock next to him. As he turns to face his boyfriend of four years, his breath catches in his throat. Lance has always been beautiful. But here, cheekbones highlighted by the rising sun and smile at full tilt and crushing blue eyes half lidded- it knocks the air out of Keith’s lungs.  _

_ Something about the Cuban shoreline and Lance seem to fit together so intrinsically. It’s why he chose this place to- he sucks in a deep breath. He was expecting to be nervous about this. After all, the potential for rejection looms heavy on his mind. And it’s not like he expects to be rejected, because Lance has been dropping pretty obvious hints about his opinion on the matter, he’s just- really nervous.  _

_ The ring box feels like it’s burning a hole through his jacket pocket. This is the perfect moment, and he should seize it. But proposing-  _ marriage-  _ that’s a big change. Keith and change don’t exactly have the best history.  _

_ “What’s wrong, babe? You look stressed out.” Keith jumps as he realizes Lance is studying his face, smiling slightly concernedly.  _

_ “Nothing! I mean- i’m fine, i’m totally fine.” He cringes, because now his boyfriend is raising both eyebrows expectantly. Keith sighs. Maybe this is his chance- he might as well take it, right? “Um, I actually did. Want to ask you something.” _

_ “Oh really? And what would that be?” Lance wiggles his eyebrows and Keith huffs a laugh at how ridiculous it looks.  _

_ He pushes aside his growing anxiety, and slowly reaches into his pocket. The other boy’s eyes track the movement and widen comically when they land on the rectangular velvet box. When Keith opens the box, the silver and sapphire ring glints in reflection of the rosy sky. He can’t bring himself to look up and gauge Lance’s reaction, but he hears the sharp intake of breath. “So, I don’t really have a big speech planned, but i wanted to propose before we had to leave Earth again--” The rest of his sentence is cut off by Lance flinging himself at Keith, shouting “Yes! Holy shit, yes!” and successfully knocking them both off the pier with the force of his hug. Keith resurfaces soaking wet and spitting saltwater out of his mouth, but he’s grinning so wide he thinking his face might burst.  _

_ And as he slips the ring on his boyfriend- no, fiance’s- finger, he thinks that maybe, just this once, change is on his side after all. _

 

5 feet. 4 feet. 3 feet. He takes a flying leap, zeroing in on the bomb, sucking in one last breath. And as he closes his eyes, bracing himself, he clenches his fist around the identical ring, and waits for gravity to drag him to the end. It will be enough.  _ It has to be enough. _

 

Keith doesn’t want to die.   __

 

He wishes he had time to say goodbye.

 

_ 00:01 _

 

The sensation of free falling is not foreign to Keith. He exhilarates in it during the aftermath of every battle. It hounds him in his sleep. It swoops through his stomach everytime he kisses Lance. It seems only natural that it should follow him straight until his final breath. 

He is hurtling towards the ground, but he manages to twist his head to the side for a split second. And for a brief, brief moment, his eyes snag on a flash of blue.

_ No.  _ No, no, no, he wasn’t supposed to see this, he was supposed to be passed out. But in the millisecond that their eyes meet, Keith can see his own horror reflected in Lance’s.  Fuck.  _ Fuck.  _

He doesn’t want to die. But making Lance watch him sacrifice himself? That’s a million times worse. 

He’s free falling, and he can’t stop. He swears he hears a single scream rise above the cacophony of noise that immediately follows.

 

_ 00:00 _

 

He lands on the bomb.

 

There’s an eruption of light all around him, and a concussive blast. His body grows unbearably hot, and he can’t draw in breath.  Something is burning. It might be his skin.

There seems to be a strange brightness, enveloping his body. Surrounding him like a halo. It’s the last coherent thing his eyes make out.

The light fades, but his vision is still spotted with white. Hie ears are ringing, a trickle of blood running down the side of his head. He feels a fluttering touch dance over his brow, his lips- 

The world rapidly descends into black, and he almost thinks he can see the night sky. A shining blue star.

Then, he’s gone.

 

\------------------

 

Lance knows what fear is. He’s been backed up against a wall, surrounded by enemies, no escape plan clear. He’s seen his home planet succumb to tyranny and slavery. He’s looked death in the eyes, and watched it flinch away first every time. 

But the utter terror that courses through his veins at the sight of Keith throwing himself onto that timebomb, like a martyr accepting death on the pyre, is unparalleled. 

It’s like watching a car accident. He can’t tear his eyes away from his fiance’s form crouched over that explosion. The image replays itself in a vicious cycle, over and over again. Branding itself into his very being.

Lance almost misses the odd white light emanating from Keith’s suit in the chaos of the ear shattering echo, almost misses it over the blind panic rising in his throat. It’s inexplicable.

But then he’s running, and he hears voices telling him to  _ wait _ but he can’t, he can’t, not when the man he loves is lying prone on the ground, chest not rising or falling, and  _ oh god is he breathing is he even alive- _

His legs give out beneath him as he reaches Keith’s body, armor singed and melting at points. He doesn’t know where to look, at the blackened and smoking chestplate, at the unnaturally bent arm that hit the ground first, at the bloody pieces of shrapnel puncturing the weakened armor. 

A hand grips his shoulder tightly. It’s Shiro, staggering over, deathly pale and trembling violently.

“Oh my god, little brother, what have you done, what were you  _ thinking _ ,” the older man gasps out. He turns to Lance, panic clear in his eyes. “Is- is he--?”

The pressure building in his head is mounting, and he can’t think clearly. “I don’t- I can’t tell, Shiro, I don’t know, I don’t  _ know _ ,” Lance sobs. His breathing has hastened, like his lungs have started expelling oxygen instead of drawing it in. 

A feminine voice and heavy footsteps cut in from behind. Hunk is carrying Pidge over, and they’re both leaning forward, trying to see the Red Paladin, their friend and teammate. They both look like they’re about to collapse any minute now, and seeing Keith in this state seems to be the final straw as Hunk drops to his knees and starts openly weeping. Pidge manages to crawl over to the black haired boy’s other side, and she’s mumbling under her breath in what is probably shock as she tries to feel his pulse. Lance can tell her hands are shaking too badly to accurately tell if a there’s still a heartbeat there.

Lance sucks in a lungful of air, and forces his hand to stop shaking. Someone- someone needs to check. His stomach turns over as he gently lays his hand along Keith’s pulsepoint. For a dreadful second, he thinks, what if, what if, what if. Then- a tiny, erratic rhythm, beating under his gentle fingertips. As fragile as a hummingbird’s heartbeat. 

The relief that washes over him is so strong that he thinks he might momentarily black out. The rest of the teams reactions fly over his head as lays his cheek against Keith’s and just breathes in the scent of him, the scent of  _ home _ . His mama always told him that sometimes home can be a person, not a place. Sometimes it’s the willingness to follow someone to eternity and back. Lance thinks he had never really understood what that meant- not until this very moment.  

He wants nothing more then to simply lay down next to his love and hold him. To pretend they are back on earth and that the smell of minerals permeating the air is from the inky ocean, not the pools of scarlet left as gruesome talismans of his space family’s injuries. But he knows this will have to wait, because they need to get off this god forsaken ship and back to the Castle of Lions in order to patch themselves up. The healing pods, Lance thinks with a twinge, will be in high demand tonight. 

Something else is bothering him, though. A bit of dread curls in his gut as he hesitantly begans voicing what they have all been silently wondering. “How… how is this even possible?” He gestures to Keith’s limp form, brushing back the bangs strewn across his fiance’s forehead. Keith surviving that stupidly self sacrificial act was the biggest stroke of luck they’d had in their collective lives. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that direct contact with an explosion of that magnitude… by all rights, the red paladin  _ should  _ be dead. Just the mere thought of it sends shivers down Lance’s entire body.

“It was the suit.” Allura, who has been entirely silent up until now, has finally managed to make her way over to them. She leans heavily against Shiro to avoid putting weight on he wrecked leg. 

The rest of them take a minute to process her words. “What do you mean?” Lance half whispers. “The suit… wait, does this have anything to do with that weird light that showed up just before the explosion?”

She nods wearily, like the lingering smoke in the air is a lead weight around her shoulders. 

Hunk, still sniffling every few seconds, asks what on earth they are talking about. As Allura explains, Lance feels that the sheer coincidence and incredulity of it all crowd his head, hurting his brain. He’s been on an adrenaline high for the past few hours, and now pure exhaustion is warring with his desire to understand what possibly had been able to spare the mullet headed boy he loves much. 

“A few months ago, I decide to make a few… upgrades to the paladins suits. It has been centuries since their first use, and they had become outdated during their time spent battling the galra. One of the features I added uses some of the Altean magic I learned all that time ago in Orionde. It takes specific countermeasures against  explosives. I thought it wise to add, as the Galra are known to blow up their own ships if it takes down enemies in the process. As we are now well aware of,” she adds, blowing out a sigh in Keith’s direction. Lance’s heart squeezes painfully. “Anyways, I modified the suit so that instead of absorbing shockwaves, it redirects them out in the form of light- it’s a way of transmutating excess energy. I… I had hoped it would never be necessary to use.” 

In the heavy silence that follows, he finds himself realizing that Coran and little Alondra are probably worried sick about them. They’ve been gone for three vargas on a 40 doboshe mission.

It seems like Pidge has come to the same realization as she rasps out, “We really need to leave. I don’t like our chances if more hostiles decide to make contact.” At this, Hunk moves to lift her up again. She protests weakly, pointing out the huge cut on his chest, but Lance can tell it’s half hearted. Hunk just pats her on the head and lifts her up anyways, fondness mingling with the exhaustion in his brown eyes.

Lance hooks one arm under Keith’s shoulders, and the other under his knees, gently lifting him into his arms bridal style. With a grunt, he manages to rise to his full height. He hears Shiro’s protests behind him, offering to carry his brother instead, but a quirked eyebrow at his missing prosthetic seems to deflate him. Besides, even as a dead weight, Keith isn’t that heavy. 

As the team limps out of the abandoned base, the man in his arms doesn’t stir. Not once. And Lance knows, he  _ knows _ , that Keith is fine, he’s breathing, he’s alive. But that doesn’t stop him from shifting his arms so he can press his ear against Keith’s chest. 

The dim violet lighting surrounding them as they trudge through the corridors, closer to leaving this hellscape with every step, suddenly sends a spike of deja vu through him. A bomb, a sacrifice, the act of carrying a injured person to safety. A bonding moment. Lance can’t help but let out a delirious laugh as remembers, earning a few strange looks from the rest of the team. God, that had been forever ago. They’d both been stupid, pining kids.

They had all just been kids when they’d gotten dragged into a fucking space war. He forgets that sometimes. 

A mechanical roar echoes through the thick silence that’s been dogging them for however long they’ve been walking. Minutes? Hours? He can’t tell. Time seems to have stretched thinly over the haze of his mind. But they’ve made it to the lions. Finally, finally, finally. They’re almost there, almost-

The bright shining yellow of the red lion’s eyes greet him  as he stumbles into the hangar.  _ Safe. _ They’re safe.

So why are his legs collapsing? An overwhelming sense of fatigue comes over him as the memories of the day come rushing back.  _ The bolt of black electricity racing down his spine. Shouts of warning and cries of pain ringing out around him. A bomb. Ten seconds. Keith running, Keith jumping, Keith dying, dying, dying.  _

His vision is blurring as he lands in a kneeling position, still clutching Keith tightly to his chest. It’s too much. People are surrounding him, talking to him, touching him, but he can’t focus. His brain only registers brief flashes of dialogue as he swims in and out of reality.

“--the hell is happening?”

“--don’t know--”

“--think he’s going into shock?”

“--get out of here--”

“C’mon, help me lift--”

Then he’s rising through the air, and he can’t feel Keith in his arms anymore, where is he-

“Keith is right here with you, we just need to get you to your lions,” a soothing voice rises above the rest of the chatter. Shiro? Allura? He can’t tell. A hand brushes the hair away from his forehead, and he wants to ask more, but he’s fading fast. He’s so damn tired. 

The last thing he remembers before slipping into unconsciousness in the glow of the red lion’s interior, and a realization that  _ this  _ is what it means to freefall. 

 

\-----------------

 

As Keith stumbles out of the healing pod, he feels absolutely frozen. His blood is moving sluggishly in his veins. Shivers wrack his spine, traveling up his body in pulses. And his skin positively  _ aches _ \- although now that he thinks about it, that’s probably from the bomb, not the cold.

The bomb. His eyes snap open in alarm and he takes a few more shaky steps forward. His family, are they okay, are they hurt, was he able to protect them-

Wait.

How is… he not dead? 

Before he can contemplate that line of thought much further, though, he hears a groan coming from the ground to his right. As he whips his head around, he jerks back when he almost steps on the three people laying on the ground, covered in blankets and seemingly asleep. 

One of them sits up, rubbing a hand over through her silvery hair. Allura does a double take when she sees Keith standing over them. Her eyes widen in surprise and what looks like- relief? A second later, she’s clumsily running towards him (he sees her leg is now in a cast) and crushes him in her arms. He gladly reciprocates, but winces when she squeezes just a little too tightly on his bruised body. 

She withdraws quickly and says “Sorry, sorry, I’m just so glad to see you out of the pod! Are you okay? How do you feel? Stars above, you’re ice cold.” 

Keith huffs a laugh, grimacing when his chest twinges in pain immediately after. At least a few broken ribs then. “I feel fine,” he lies through his teeth. It actually feels like he got run over by an alien warship, but there’s no reason to worry her more. His lying skills obviously need to improve, though, because she looks supremely unimpressed. Before she can open her mouth, however, Keith hears a gasp behind him as his brother sits up and launches himself at Keith in a one armed hug. 

The force of his leap causes Keith to stagger backwards, but Allura grabs his arm to keep them from pitching over. With a shock, he realizes Shiro’s whole body is shaking with sobs. As they pull apart after what feels like a solid minute, Shiro rasps “Don’t you  _ ever _ do anything like that again. You hear me, Keith?” A bit of fire flares in his older brother’s eyes, and it’s all he can do to nod vigorously. With a heavy dose of guilt, he notices the dark bags visible under both of the couple’s eyes. 

“Have you guys been staying out here the entire time? While I was in the pod, I mean?” Keith asks. 

Allura sighs. “Seeing as you were in the pod for 5 and a half days, that would not have been wise. We’ve been taking shifts. Shiro and I volunteered to take the night shift because Hunk and Pidge monitored you all of yesterday, and Lance…” She trails off. 

What was wrong with Lance? He can feel a frown growing on his face, his brow furrowing, but a tiny voice interrupts his train of thought.

“Uncle Keef?” A wave of fondness surges through his chest at the white head that pops out of the nest of blankets still on the floor. 

He can’t keep a smile off his face as he scoops up the toddler that runs over to jump into his arms. “Hey, Allie!” Her innocent grin grows at the nickname. He’s the only one she allows to call her that, much to her father’s chagrin. As Keith holds her, Alondra chatters excitedly in the way that only two year olds can, detailing all the adventures she and Coran had had throughout the last week in the castle. With Shiro and Allura looking on softly, he feels part of the monumental weight on his shoulders ease. Even the pain lacing his figure seems to momentarily fade.

That is, until the door to the healing bay hisses open and reveals Pidge and Hunk, apparently curious about all the commotion coming from the room. Their faces light up as soon as they see him out and about, and Hunk lifts him off his feet in an embrace so hard he thinks he cracks another rib. Pidge begins berating him about  _ how could he do something like that and why is he convinced he’s dispensable and god you’re so fucking stupid _ \-  _ “Don’t swear in front of the baby, Pidge!” _ \- but she eventually gives in and joins the group hug. 

“You softie,” Keith teases, but it’s half-hearted. 

“I’m gonna give you one chance to shut the hell up, Kogane.”

And so he does. He just stands there and lets them fret over him, because he knows they have the right to. Jumping on that bomb is probably the most reckless thing he’s done in his short life, and that’s saying  _ a lot _ .

But, someone is very notably missing. Twisting the silver band on his ring finger nervously, he finally works up the courage to ask where his fiance is.

Shiro is the one who ends up answering after they all share a glance that Keith can’t quite decipher. He bites his lip and says gently, “Lance is probably in your guys’ room. We made him go sleep in an actual bed last night because he refused to leave the pod bay before, in case you woke up.”

Keith turns quickly and starts to walk towards the door, heart beginning to beat faster in anticipation, but a hand grabs his wrist. It’s Hunk.

“Just- be careful, yeah? He went into shock when we finally made it back to the lions. It was scary. He wasn’t responding to any of us.” The yellow paladin looks at him concernedly after his audible intake of breath.

He barely manages a jerky nod before he’s planting a hurried kiss on Allie’s head, handing her off to his brother, and running towards the doors. Pidge’s warning to be careful not to tear his stitches barely registers before he reaches the door and is in one of the many long identical corridors of the castle. He didn’t even realize he’d had stitches at this point, but that’s not important right now.    

The path to their room is so ingrained in Keith’s memory that he could probably find it in his sleep. It was technically Lance’s old room, but Keith had started sleeping there so often that he had just moved his stuff in for practicality’s sake. 

His feet seem to be moving of their own accord. By the time he reaches the familiar door, he’s panting and a smarting pain traces through his head. He wonders now if he might have a concussion, from the way the fluorescent lights are making him feel off balance and dizzy. 

The shiny white metal of the door is interrupted only by a small sign. All that was on it was the initials KK + LM inside of a purple heart. Pidge had put it there as a joke when they’d started dating, but Lance had unironically loved it, so it stuck. Normally, Keith just rolls his eyes and secretly grins at the years old, yellowing piece of paper, but looking at it now just makes an overwhelming sense of guilt rise in his chest. 

He reaches out to touch the paper, but as soon as his hand grazes the silly violet heart, the door slides open. 

Standing there on the other side, eyes snapping wide open, is Lance. He looks… stretched thin. Like a paper cut out of himself, liable to bend over or crumple up at any minute. And as his eyes meet Keith’s, the red shot through them becomes prominent. Keith tries to open his mouth, desperate to say something, anything to get rid of the awful silence growing. 

Lance reaches a hand out and grazes it along his cheekbone, as if checking to see if he’s actually there. Keith leans into the touch, savoring the softness of the skin. 

He clears his throat. “Look, I’m really sor--” 

Faster than the speed of light, Lance is dragging him forward until they collide, and then he’s bending at the knees and pulling Keith down with him. He buries his face in the crook of Lance’s neck and just breathes in his scent, ocean water and something floral from whatever face mask he’d worn earlier. And despite the sticky trails running down his face from tears old and recent, and his fiance’s pointy chin digging into his shoulder blade, this is the most comfortable Keith has felt in weeks. 

Abruptly, Lance pulls back. The sudden fire that is erupting in the other man’s eyes is enough to make him swallow nervously.

“Why did you do it.”

It’s not a question. 

“You know why.” Not the right answer. Keith winces and looks away from the positively murderous look he is receiving. 

“Don’t. Don’t you dare ignore this. I thought we had gotten past this stupid fucking self sacrificial shit.” Silent tears are running down his cheeks again, simultaneously carving paths into Keith’s heart.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The apologies float into the air uselessly. 

Lance shakes his head furiously at his words. “Don’t you get it? Keith, I don’t want you to be sorry for being stupidly loyal and selfless. I just want you to stop thinking you’re not as important as the rest of us.”

Something inside of him cracks open at the heartbrokenness in that open plea. “I just thought… better me than all of you. How can you expect me to choose myself over my entire family? I- I can’t. I  _ won’t _ , Lance. When it comes to Shiro and Allura and Pidge and Hunk and  _ you _ , I will  _ always _ make myself the expendable one!” 

“But you’re not expendable to me!” Lance shouts.

The silence that follows is deafening.

“Keith, we need you.  _ I need you _ . That’s what this ring means, yeah?” He holds up his hand so that his engagement band is on full display. “It’s your promise that you’ll always return to me. I want you and I to follow each other to eternity and back.” 

He can’t think of a single response that can do the overwhelming warmth in his chest justice. So he does the next best thing.

The kiss is everything. It’s a reaffirmation, it’s a beginning, it’s a conclusion. It’s all the exhausted pain and misery and absolute terror the past week has wreaked on their lives. It burns with it all, the fire of Lance’s lips melting away the ice that’s been coating his veins ever since he’d first laid eyes on that bomb. 

When they finally pull apart, Keith rests his forehead against Lance’s and stares him dead in the eyes. He swears he can see those galaxies that he watched with his father all those years ago in the depths of blue that peer back. 

After all this time, he at last knows why his dad looked to the stars with such longing and regret. Because the sensation of loving someone is a lot like space. It’s full of infinite possibility, and there are a million chances for someone to get hurt. But the risk, the danger, is worth it for a chance to live among the majesty of it all, even if just for a moment. 

But Keith is not his father. He has no intentions of ever regretting Lance. So he links their hands and pulls them both to their feet.  

“I promise.”

 

Just like space, like the universe itself, Keith’s love for Lance is ever expanding. Ever changing. Never diminishing, but constantly evolving. Keith knows that change can be a drawn out process, or a snapshot of ten seconds. But despite change’s many flaws, uncertainties, and pressures, he has withstood its ministarations and come out stronger for it. He would even say he’s come to respect it. 

After all, it is what led him to Lance, to his family. And in the end, that was all he could really ask for.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!  
> Let me know below what u thought :)


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